Can you fix anything by worrying? No.
Can you control the outcome of the situation? No.
Can you let it go? No.
Why not?
Guh. I hope this really isn't happening again. I don't want to go through the same debacle with CRA as last year... god.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Thirty Thought Thursday
Thirty Random Thoughts....
- I wish it was Friday, so it would be the long weekend.
- Actually, to rework the first thought, I wish it was Friday at 3:50 PM. The train doors would be closing and I would be on my way home.
- I wonder if the cats are making a huge mess and knocking over my plants again.
- There are green pieces of paper on my desk. That makes me think of my money tree at home sitting in the spare room on a chair. Midnight ate all of it's leaves. I hope the leaves grow back.
- I wonder if Obama is really going to be much of a saviour for the US Economy.
- My yogurt was really good this morning. I like plain vanilla. I don't need fruit in it.
- I wonder what my parents are having for dinner. I'm going out there for dinner tonight.
- I am kind of worried about walking the dogs since last time Joey was bitten.
- I am glad Joey's head has healed nicely.
- I wonder why I don't heal as fast as the dog.
- My eyebrow is kind of itchy.
- I think in my next life, I would like to come back as a spoiled rotten cat.
- I am sad that Midnight doesn't really come to bed anymore at night. I think it's because Smudge likes to wake him up at 3 am for play time.
- I wish Smudge wouldn't wake up at 3am.
- Blah blah blah blah.
- I'm not sure what the weather wants to do. Sunny, cloudy, sunny, cloudy.
- Mah na na na HEY ma na na na..
- I knew the Canucks would get knocked out in Round 2. Maybe they can golf with the flyers.
- I remember when Jon Bon Jovi had long hair. I got a trading card with his picture on it from a bag of doritos when I was about 5. I remember asking my mom who Bon Jovi was. My favourite band was the monkees.
- We need more pictures on our walls.
- I need to turn down my tunes. I'm worried it's bugging someone else.
- I worry too much.
- My eyes are sore. I should probably put on my glasses.
- I need six more thoughts.
- My mind is never this quiet.
- I'd like to try meditation.
- I need to start getting fit.
- I should go and check my email soon.
- The new Star Trek movie looks good.
- I'd like to see Angels and Demons this weekend.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Wednesday Random Prompt
"What does routine tell you? Choose one hour from your daily routine that is often the same. Write it out as a story."
_______________________________________________________________
The alarm clock goes off and it's 5:30 AM. 5:30 really sucks, let me tell you. I drag my sorry butt out of bed to shut off the screaming clock. I sit back down on the edge of the bed, scratch my head and curse the fact that I have to work today.
I pull out my dresser drawers and select something to wear. I don't really care what. I just grab whatever comes into contact with my hand first. Some mornings I am more meticulous, but more often than not it's just happenstance whatever clothes end up on my back.
I pick up my clothes and open the bedroom door, and head down the hallway to the bathroom with its dusty pink walls, and I think to myself, gee, I really should get around to painting this room.
My two cats are on the counter, standing next to the sink meowing at me to turn on the water so they can drink from the tap. Smudge, a mottled black and orange four pound baby meows the loudest, and Midnight, my all over black big boy looks at me patiently. They have a fountain downstairs, so I'm not sure why the tap is still so lucrative. I turn on the tap, elbow my way in between the cats and manage to get my toothbrush wet and put some paste on. I brush my teeth, then tap my toothbrush twice on the edge of the sink and put it back in the toothbrush holder. Then I turn the water off.
I walk over to the shower and turn it on. Smudge hides behind the toilet and Midnight sits on the counter. Hot water is a good thing. I wash my hair and then my body. I dry myself off while still standing in the tub so as not to get water all over the bathroom floor. I step out onto the mat and grab some lotion because you should always moisturize! After I put on body lotion I wrap my towel around me and grab my face moisturizer. My bathroom is loaded with beauty products. I guess I'm a typical woman.
I pull the Nivea Aqua Sensation moisturizer out and put some on my face, and follow that up with Nivea Aqua Sensation eye gel. Then I get dressed. After I am dressed, standing in front of the big mirror, which has finally defogged, I open the drawer to my right and get my make up out. I shake my foundation bottle and put a little bit on a sponge. I dab a bit on both cheeks, my forehead and my chin, and blend it with a sponge. Then I put the foundation back and grab my concealer stick and get all the blemishes and imperfections with that. I blend it in. I put the concealer stick back and have a little internal war with myself on what kind of eyeshadow I want to wear. Once I've chosen I put it on, and pull out my blush stick (the best invention ever!) and mascara.
I put some blush on my cheeks and rub it in, and then put mascara on. For some reason I sneeze when I put on mascara, usually twice. I call them my two regulation sneezes. Then I have to fix the mascara smudges. The cats want out of the bathroom by this time so I open the door. I run a brush through my hair and head downstairs.
I say hello to my husband to be who has just come home from work and is usually eating something ridiculous, like ice cream cake at 6AM. I pull the brita pitcher out of the fridge and saunter to the coffee maker. I slide the coffee maker out from under the cabinets and flip up the lid. I take out the filter and grounds from yesterday and toss them in the trash. I pull out the basket, give it a rinse and put a new filter in, and 2 scoops of Folger's. I pour 6 cups of water in the coffee maker. I find this makes the best coffee. I hit the brew now button.
I open the cabinet next to the stove and pull out the Lucky Charms and pour myself a bowl. I've given up on healthy cereals lately. I need a little fun in my life. I grab the milk from the fridge, pour some into my Lucky Charms and put the milk back. I carry my bowl to the table, and turn on the news with the remote control. Smudge is rubbing against my leg and the chair meowing while I eat my cereal and I'm thinking of how I am going to break her of that habit. Midnight keeps jumping on the table and I curse myself for leaving the spray bottle upstairs. I always give them the bowl to lick after I am done with it. Midnight used to wait patiently, but Smudge will push him out of the way when I put the bowl down, so he's gotten more vigilant.
I finish my cereal and lift the bowl to drink the milk that's left. I put the bowl down for the cats. Midnight jumps off the table to get some. Smudge is already in the bowl. At least the meowing has stopped.
I get up and check the coffee and make sure it's brewed and I wash my lunch containers and travel mug. I grab a parisien roll from a bag of them on the counter and cut it open. I spread mayonnaise and mustard on it and add some cheese and lunch meat. I close the bun and put it in a sandwich container. Then I grab a couple of handfuls of baby carrots, slice up some cucumbers and grab some cherry tomatoes and throw them in a bag. Sometimes instead of veggies I take fruits. Gotta keep life interesting. I grab a yogurt and a pudding and throw it all in a cloth bag and make sure I have my book. I look at the clock. It's 6:20. I have to get going if I am going to make the train. I grab my travel mug and fill it with coffee. I add a little cream and sugar and screw the lid on.
I walk over to the door and put on my shoes and coat, grab my keys, my lunch bag, my coffee and my purse. I kiss my husband to be goodbye and head out the door and down the front steps, then around the back of the house to the carport. I get in my car, turn the ignition, make sure the heat is on and back out of the carport. Then I put my seatbelt on as I am driving down the back alley. I make a right to get out of the alley and a left on our street, then a right out to the main road which I drive down for about a minute until I come to another light where I have to hang a left. This light is always red. It drives me crazy. I wait for the light to turn green and turn left. I drive to the highway and merge on. I follow the highway for about three minutes until I have to turn on to the bypass. From here I continue the long trek to work.
_______________________________________________________________
The alarm clock goes off and it's 5:30 AM. 5:30 really sucks, let me tell you. I drag my sorry butt out of bed to shut off the screaming clock. I sit back down on the edge of the bed, scratch my head and curse the fact that I have to work today.
I pull out my dresser drawers and select something to wear. I don't really care what. I just grab whatever comes into contact with my hand first. Some mornings I am more meticulous, but more often than not it's just happenstance whatever clothes end up on my back.
I pick up my clothes and open the bedroom door, and head down the hallway to the bathroom with its dusty pink walls, and I think to myself, gee, I really should get around to painting this room.
My two cats are on the counter, standing next to the sink meowing at me to turn on the water so they can drink from the tap. Smudge, a mottled black and orange four pound baby meows the loudest, and Midnight, my all over black big boy looks at me patiently. They have a fountain downstairs, so I'm not sure why the tap is still so lucrative. I turn on the tap, elbow my way in between the cats and manage to get my toothbrush wet and put some paste on. I brush my teeth, then tap my toothbrush twice on the edge of the sink and put it back in the toothbrush holder. Then I turn the water off.
I walk over to the shower and turn it on. Smudge hides behind the toilet and Midnight sits on the counter. Hot water is a good thing. I wash my hair and then my body. I dry myself off while still standing in the tub so as not to get water all over the bathroom floor. I step out onto the mat and grab some lotion because you should always moisturize! After I put on body lotion I wrap my towel around me and grab my face moisturizer. My bathroom is loaded with beauty products. I guess I'm a typical woman.
I pull the Nivea Aqua Sensation moisturizer out and put some on my face, and follow that up with Nivea Aqua Sensation eye gel. Then I get dressed. After I am dressed, standing in front of the big mirror, which has finally defogged, I open the drawer to my right and get my make up out. I shake my foundation bottle and put a little bit on a sponge. I dab a bit on both cheeks, my forehead and my chin, and blend it with a sponge. Then I put the foundation back and grab my concealer stick and get all the blemishes and imperfections with that. I blend it in. I put the concealer stick back and have a little internal war with myself on what kind of eyeshadow I want to wear. Once I've chosen I put it on, and pull out my blush stick (the best invention ever!) and mascara.
I put some blush on my cheeks and rub it in, and then put mascara on. For some reason I sneeze when I put on mascara, usually twice. I call them my two regulation sneezes. Then I have to fix the mascara smudges. The cats want out of the bathroom by this time so I open the door. I run a brush through my hair and head downstairs.
I say hello to my husband to be who has just come home from work and is usually eating something ridiculous, like ice cream cake at 6AM. I pull the brita pitcher out of the fridge and saunter to the coffee maker. I slide the coffee maker out from under the cabinets and flip up the lid. I take out the filter and grounds from yesterday and toss them in the trash. I pull out the basket, give it a rinse and put a new filter in, and 2 scoops of Folger's. I pour 6 cups of water in the coffee maker. I find this makes the best coffee. I hit the brew now button.
I open the cabinet next to the stove and pull out the Lucky Charms and pour myself a bowl. I've given up on healthy cereals lately. I need a little fun in my life. I grab the milk from the fridge, pour some into my Lucky Charms and put the milk back. I carry my bowl to the table, and turn on the news with the remote control. Smudge is rubbing against my leg and the chair meowing while I eat my cereal and I'm thinking of how I am going to break her of that habit. Midnight keeps jumping on the table and I curse myself for leaving the spray bottle upstairs. I always give them the bowl to lick after I am done with it. Midnight used to wait patiently, but Smudge will push him out of the way when I put the bowl down, so he's gotten more vigilant.
I finish my cereal and lift the bowl to drink the milk that's left. I put the bowl down for the cats. Midnight jumps off the table to get some. Smudge is already in the bowl. At least the meowing has stopped.
I get up and check the coffee and make sure it's brewed and I wash my lunch containers and travel mug. I grab a parisien roll from a bag of them on the counter and cut it open. I spread mayonnaise and mustard on it and add some cheese and lunch meat. I close the bun and put it in a sandwich container. Then I grab a couple of handfuls of baby carrots, slice up some cucumbers and grab some cherry tomatoes and throw them in a bag. Sometimes instead of veggies I take fruits. Gotta keep life interesting. I grab a yogurt and a pudding and throw it all in a cloth bag and make sure I have my book. I look at the clock. It's 6:20. I have to get going if I am going to make the train. I grab my travel mug and fill it with coffee. I add a little cream and sugar and screw the lid on.
I walk over to the door and put on my shoes and coat, grab my keys, my lunch bag, my coffee and my purse. I kiss my husband to be goodbye and head out the door and down the front steps, then around the back of the house to the carport. I get in my car, turn the ignition, make sure the heat is on and back out of the carport. Then I put my seatbelt on as I am driving down the back alley. I make a right to get out of the alley and a left on our street, then a right out to the main road which I drive down for about a minute until I come to another light where I have to hang a left. This light is always red. It drives me crazy. I wait for the light to turn green and turn left. I drive to the highway and merge on. I follow the highway for about three minutes until I have to turn on to the bypass. From here I continue the long trek to work.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Tuesday Random Prompt
Use all of the following in a poem: "a culture of solitude", "faithful blue sky" and "where we still discover"
__________________________________________________________________
Walking through the concrete jungle,
with hard, grey cement under my feet.
I think about a culture of solitude, which seems to me
to be the one we've imposed on ourselves these days.
The faithful blue sky shines down on the glass and cement,
The busy people bustling to and fro
With no time for eachother
Eyes on blackberries, pushing and shoving
Hustling and bustling,
The world continues on without a thought.
This is the world where we all live,
where we don't need face to face interaction.
The world where we still discover
new ways, to keep ourselves alone and sequestered.
__________________________________________________________________
Walking through the concrete jungle,
with hard, grey cement under my feet.
I think about a culture of solitude, which seems to me
to be the one we've imposed on ourselves these days.
The faithful blue sky shines down on the glass and cement,
The busy people bustling to and fro
With no time for eachother
Eyes on blackberries, pushing and shoving
Hustling and bustling,
The world continues on without a thought.
This is the world where we all live,
where we don't need face to face interaction.
The world where we still discover
new ways, to keep ourselves alone and sequestered.
Monday, May 11, 2009
An Ode to Cramps
Oh cramps I abhor thee,
You make me groan in pain.
I know that in another month,
I'll have you back again.
I could just pop an advil,
Pills seem to work okay.
But perhaps a heating pad
Is in order today.
I like to be a woman,
With all my wiley ways,
Although I tend to hate each month
For about seven days.
Oh cramps, you are so crappy,
tea, I will grab another cup.
I guess I'm glad when you appear,
It means I'm not knocked up.
You make me groan in pain.
I know that in another month,
I'll have you back again.
I could just pop an advil,
Pills seem to work okay.
But perhaps a heating pad
Is in order today.
I like to be a woman,
With all my wiley ways,
Although I tend to hate each month
For about seven days.
Oh cramps, you are so crappy,
tea, I will grab another cup.
I guess I'm glad when you appear,
It means I'm not knocked up.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Random Prompt Wednesday
PROMPT:
What happens when a man bumps into his former girlfriend while he shops for baby toys with his pregnant wife? The man once told the ex-girlfriend "I'm not the marrying kind".
_____________________________________________________________________
I just about thought I was going to be a bachelor for life until I met Annie. I mean, I'd played the field and was having a great time. A different girl every few weeks was great. I was a good looking, successful man and I felt that I had the right to play the field and please the entire female population.
Something changed in me when I met Annie. I wanted to protect her. I didn't want to throw her aside, and oddly enough I didn't get tired of her like I had my previous girlfriends. I actually found myself asking her to marry me one night at Alejandro's, one of our favourite supper spots, now here we were after a wonderful wedding and honeymoon expecting our first child.
Me, a dad. I never would have thought I'd be the type, but I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of the little tyke and I just keep praying it's a son, because I don't think I could handle seeing men like my young self going out with my daughter. If it was a girl, I'd have to invest in shares of Louisville Sluggers.
"Mike? Are you even listening to me?" Annie is poking my arm.
"Oh uh yeah. Sorry about that, just went off in my own little world."
"The turn off for Babies R Us is coming up. Right here."
I turned into the parking lot and cruised around looking for a spot. I couldn't believe how busy this baby emporium was. Was everyone having babies? I got out of the car and walked around to the passenger side to help Annie out. She was having trouble getting in and out of my two door prelude, she was eight months along now.
"Oof. I think this kid's going to be a sumo wrestler Mike," Annie put a hand on her lower back.
"As long as he's healthy, I don't care."
"What makes you think he is going to be a he? It might be a she! I hope it's a she. I can dress her up in little dresses and..."
At about this point I am politely nodding, but tuning my wife out. After eight months of the same discussion I'm getting tired. It's a boy. End of story.
The big sliding doors open into Babies R Us and I am awed by the amount of cribs, stuffed animals, high chairs and other baby paraphernalia. I've never seen Annie waddle so fast. All I saw was a mass of red curls flying in her wake. There are tons of other pregnant women and women with babies, so I know we'll be here a while. You know how pregnant women like to talk to eachother about how it's all going. All I knew was my plastic was going to hurt at the end of this expedition looking for toys.
I sauntered around the corner and saw a pleasing looking woman with her back to me. There was something familiar about her. Then she turned around. Holy shit. It was Sinead, my ex.
You see, Sinead and I were pretty hot and heavy. She was the longest relationship I had prior to Annie. We were together 2 years and that is VERY long term for me. She caught the marriage bug. I ended up breaking it off because she was putting too much pressure on me. I told her I was not the marrying kind. I was a playboy, a rebel, and I just couldn't be tied down. What could I do? Duck!
Just as I ducked behind one of the displays of strollers Annie came up behind me.
"Mike, what the hell are you doing?"
"Checking out the wheels on these strollers," I turned the wheel side to side, looked up and smiled. "They look like they'd roll pretty smoothly".
"We have a stroller already. We're here for final touches on the nursery, remember?"
"Uh, yeah. Right. The floor sure is clean."
"I don't know what has gotten into you. I'll be over in the toy section, should you decide to come back to Earth" she sighs, rolls her eyes and walks away giggling.
I decide that I'm going to duck walk to the other side of the strollers. Maybe I can make a break for the other side of the store. I'm looking around like a rabid wolverine making sure that Sinead is nowhere in sight when I duck walk into a pair of legs.
"Well, well. Mike. Fancy seeing you in a baby store! How are you? It's been a long time!"
"Yeah, nice to see you again Sinead, what brings you to this place?"
"Oh my sister is having a baby. I have to get a gift for the shower. I'm stumped. Are you here with anyone?"
"Yeah, see the red head over there in the maternity top? She's my.."
"I thought you weren't the marrying kind, a rebel.. all that nonsense." Sinead crossed her arms with a big grin on her face.
"Yeah, well, you might say she convinced me. We're having a baby in July. Got married in Mexico last year." I leaned on a nearby baby swing set, and crossed one ankle over the other. Annie turned around waving and pointing at a giant stuffed panda. I smiled and waved back.
"Well," Sinead was looking at her feet now. "I guess I shouldn't keep you from your wife. Congratulations, and good luck with fatherhood. I never would have guessed."
"Neither would I. Nice to see you." I gave her a little pat on the arm and she headed straight for the doors. That went a lot better than I thought it would. I headed back over to Annie to get the shopping expedition over with.
What happens when a man bumps into his former girlfriend while he shops for baby toys with his pregnant wife? The man once told the ex-girlfriend "I'm not the marrying kind".
_____________________________________________________________________
I just about thought I was going to be a bachelor for life until I met Annie. I mean, I'd played the field and was having a great time. A different girl every few weeks was great. I was a good looking, successful man and I felt that I had the right to play the field and please the entire female population.
Something changed in me when I met Annie. I wanted to protect her. I didn't want to throw her aside, and oddly enough I didn't get tired of her like I had my previous girlfriends. I actually found myself asking her to marry me one night at Alejandro's, one of our favourite supper spots, now here we were after a wonderful wedding and honeymoon expecting our first child.
Me, a dad. I never would have thought I'd be the type, but I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of the little tyke and I just keep praying it's a son, because I don't think I could handle seeing men like my young self going out with my daughter. If it was a girl, I'd have to invest in shares of Louisville Sluggers.
"Mike? Are you even listening to me?" Annie is poking my arm.
"Oh uh yeah. Sorry about that, just went off in my own little world."
"The turn off for Babies R Us is coming up. Right here."
I turned into the parking lot and cruised around looking for a spot. I couldn't believe how busy this baby emporium was. Was everyone having babies? I got out of the car and walked around to the passenger side to help Annie out. She was having trouble getting in and out of my two door prelude, she was eight months along now.
"Oof. I think this kid's going to be a sumo wrestler Mike," Annie put a hand on her lower back.
"As long as he's healthy, I don't care."
"What makes you think he is going to be a he? It might be a she! I hope it's a she. I can dress her up in little dresses and..."
At about this point I am politely nodding, but tuning my wife out. After eight months of the same discussion I'm getting tired. It's a boy. End of story.
The big sliding doors open into Babies R Us and I am awed by the amount of cribs, stuffed animals, high chairs and other baby paraphernalia. I've never seen Annie waddle so fast. All I saw was a mass of red curls flying in her wake. There are tons of other pregnant women and women with babies, so I know we'll be here a while. You know how pregnant women like to talk to eachother about how it's all going. All I knew was my plastic was going to hurt at the end of this expedition looking for toys.
I sauntered around the corner and saw a pleasing looking woman with her back to me. There was something familiar about her. Then she turned around. Holy shit. It was Sinead, my ex.
You see, Sinead and I were pretty hot and heavy. She was the longest relationship I had prior to Annie. We were together 2 years and that is VERY long term for me. She caught the marriage bug. I ended up breaking it off because she was putting too much pressure on me. I told her I was not the marrying kind. I was a playboy, a rebel, and I just couldn't be tied down. What could I do? Duck!
Just as I ducked behind one of the displays of strollers Annie came up behind me.
"Mike, what the hell are you doing?"
"Checking out the wheels on these strollers," I turned the wheel side to side, looked up and smiled. "They look like they'd roll pretty smoothly".
"We have a stroller already. We're here for final touches on the nursery, remember?"
"Uh, yeah. Right. The floor sure is clean."
"I don't know what has gotten into you. I'll be over in the toy section, should you decide to come back to Earth" she sighs, rolls her eyes and walks away giggling.
I decide that I'm going to duck walk to the other side of the strollers. Maybe I can make a break for the other side of the store. I'm looking around like a rabid wolverine making sure that Sinead is nowhere in sight when I duck walk into a pair of legs.
"Well, well. Mike. Fancy seeing you in a baby store! How are you? It's been a long time!"
"Yeah, nice to see you again Sinead, what brings you to this place?"
"Oh my sister is having a baby. I have to get a gift for the shower. I'm stumped. Are you here with anyone?"
"Yeah, see the red head over there in the maternity top? She's my.."
"I thought you weren't the marrying kind, a rebel.. all that nonsense." Sinead crossed her arms with a big grin on her face.
"Yeah, well, you might say she convinced me. We're having a baby in July. Got married in Mexico last year." I leaned on a nearby baby swing set, and crossed one ankle over the other. Annie turned around waving and pointing at a giant stuffed panda. I smiled and waved back.
"Well," Sinead was looking at her feet now. "I guess I shouldn't keep you from your wife. Congratulations, and good luck with fatherhood. I never would have guessed."
"Neither would I. Nice to see you." I gave her a little pat on the arm and she headed straight for the doors. That went a lot better than I thought it would. I headed back over to Annie to get the shopping expedition over with.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
I knew I should have worn boots.
That was the only thing I kept repeating over and over in my head as I trudged through the snow accross the empty field. The only noises that accompanied me were the soft whump of my footfalls on the fresh snow, and the resounding squelch of soaked sneakers. At least I had my coat. I didn't care that I was wearing my pyjamas underneath. I wasn't going to see anyone special anyways.
He was there. Sitting on the bench in the dugout. Head bowed, blonde, shaggy hair hanging forward, with his feet dangling below him. He seemed to be gently kicking the same patch of dirt while he was waiting for me to arrive at our meeting time, to talk about the things we couldn't talk about during the light of day.
He looked up and gave me a hopeful yet pathetic looking little wave if that makes any sense at all. I sat down on the bench next to him and looked at my feet in my sodden shoes.
"Bad night?" I risked a look at his face, checking for fresh bruises.
"He didn't hit me tonight, so I guess that's a good thing." He smiled his little crooked smile. I could see his pale skin and just make out his freckles.
We sat for a while just listening to the sound of the snow falling. Some people think that snow doesn't have a sound, but I think it does. A soft shushing noise, at least that's how I hear it. Nature's way of telling us all to hush up now, everything will be okay.
I've known Leif since I was 3. His family moved in next to us that year, and our mothers became fast friends. We are 14 now and go to the same high school. People pick on Leif because he's not so well off. He's a nerd, and an outcast from the general cliquey high school population. His mother took off when he was 8. His father, Joe, had hit her one too many times and she had had enough. Unfortunately, she didn't take Leif with her.
Some nights I could hear Joe screaming at Leif. About what a burden Leif was, what a failure of a son. I always knew when I heard the yelling, that I could be sure if I left home at 1 AM Leif would be here waiting for me on the bench in the dugout. Sometimes, Joe hit Leif. He would say that Lief was a waste of skin, and that he had too much of his mother in him.
I hated that Leif had to worry about these things and there were lots of times I tried to rescue him, but my parents didn't want to get involved.
TO BE CONTINUED
That was the only thing I kept repeating over and over in my head as I trudged through the snow accross the empty field. The only noises that accompanied me were the soft whump of my footfalls on the fresh snow, and the resounding squelch of soaked sneakers. At least I had my coat. I didn't care that I was wearing my pyjamas underneath. I wasn't going to see anyone special anyways.
He was there. Sitting on the bench in the dugout. Head bowed, blonde, shaggy hair hanging forward, with his feet dangling below him. He seemed to be gently kicking the same patch of dirt while he was waiting for me to arrive at our meeting time, to talk about the things we couldn't talk about during the light of day.
He looked up and gave me a hopeful yet pathetic looking little wave if that makes any sense at all. I sat down on the bench next to him and looked at my feet in my sodden shoes.
"Bad night?" I risked a look at his face, checking for fresh bruises.
"He didn't hit me tonight, so I guess that's a good thing." He smiled his little crooked smile. I could see his pale skin and just make out his freckles.
We sat for a while just listening to the sound of the snow falling. Some people think that snow doesn't have a sound, but I think it does. A soft shushing noise, at least that's how I hear it. Nature's way of telling us all to hush up now, everything will be okay.
I've known Leif since I was 3. His family moved in next to us that year, and our mothers became fast friends. We are 14 now and go to the same high school. People pick on Leif because he's not so well off. He's a nerd, and an outcast from the general cliquey high school population. His mother took off when he was 8. His father, Joe, had hit her one too many times and she had had enough. Unfortunately, she didn't take Leif with her.
Some nights I could hear Joe screaming at Leif. About what a burden Leif was, what a failure of a son. I always knew when I heard the yelling, that I could be sure if I left home at 1 AM Leif would be here waiting for me on the bench in the dugout. Sometimes, Joe hit Leif. He would say that Lief was a waste of skin, and that he had too much of his mother in him.
I hated that Leif had to worry about these things and there were lots of times I tried to rescue him, but my parents didn't want to get involved.
TO BE CONTINUED
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